A Practice: Counting Your Blessings

Sometimes happiness begins with a simple habit

In my first positive psychology course, we were assigned a “Positive Change” project, which was a chance to try one proven habit for improving well-being. I decided to end each day by listing a few good things that happened and taking a moment to feel grateful for them. Over time, that simple practice changed how I noticed the good around me.

Research shows that noticing and reflecting on what went right in your day and in your life can train your brain to see more good each day. (1) (2) This practice of counting your blessings is a common positive psychology intervention for feeling gratitude. Many experiments have shown that this practice, when done regularly for at least one week, improves positive feelings like joy, contentment, and gratitude, enhances physical health and satisfaction with life, and increases our ability to expect and create more positive experiences in the future. (3) (4) (5)

Counting one’s blessings can be both a secular and religious practice. For instance, some Jewish traditions practice reciting 100 blessings each day to remain mindful of God’s presence in every aspect of their lives. This can involve feeling gratitude for ordinary moments from hearing good news to a good meal, and also recognizing the gratitude in sacred moments from prayer to praise, and the gift of life itself. In a more secular era, counting your blessings is valuable for everyone.

During spiritual seasons that center gratitude, counting your blessings is an opportunity to reflect on divine goodness and to build community. For example, on Thanksgiving, many families go around the table and say what they are thankful for from the past year. When done with the whole family, this intergenerational practice reinforces gratitude in both children and adults, allowing families to pass down values that strengthen family bonds and spiritual health.

Start by Noticing Three Good Things Daily

One of the most studied practices in counting your blessings is called the Three Good Things exercise. (5) (6) This gratitude practice is effective and can be done in as little as a minute or two. Start by grabbing a journal or prompting a conversation with someone and do the following:

1. Pick a time you can keep most nights for one week. Pairing it with another nightly practice like dinner, prayer or brushing your teeth can help you remember.
2. Think about what happened to you on that day. What went well? List three different good things that happened. Things that made you smile or confident. Keep each to 1–2 lines.
3. After each one, add at least one reason that each good thing happened. What went into it? Note your own effort, another’s kindness, the context, or God’s provision if relevant.
4. Savor each good thing for 20–30 seconds by focusing your mind on the experience itself. What was it like? In your head, try to remember the event and how it made you feel.
5. Repeat nightly for at least a week, then maintain the practice at least three times a week.

To make it more effective and grow the virtue of gratitude: (5) (6) (7)

• Do it regularly: Regular practice makes a habit. Choose a frequency you can keep.
• Personalize it: Adapt the practice to best fit your needs and surroundings.
• Do it with others: Sharing experiences of gratitude elevates its effects. Try the practice with a partner, parent, or child to create a shared space for expressing gratitude.

For example, you can practice this exercise daily through prayer as a way to express gratitude towards God, or you can use this as a way to connect more strongly with others as I do:

My rendition: Each night before bed, my partner and I do a simple but meaningful version of this practice. One of us asks, “What were your three good things today?” and for the next five to ten minutes, we take turns naming things, moments, and people we’re grateful for from the day. We often mention good meals, time spent together, unexpected blessings, or chances to do what we love like visiting a favorite shop, being outdoors, or reading before bed. What matters most is reflecting on why each good thing happened and who or what made it possible. This helps us direct our attention toward the people, choices, and contexts that bring goodness into our lives. Over time, we’ve noticed how this nightly ritual makes us smile, laugh, and feel more connected  to one another and to the good in each day.

You can also do an extended version of this practice, where you do a deeper review of your life to this point, this activity is called life review. As you review your life story, identify the most significant positive events that have been blessings to your life. Focus on a few that involve the actions of others or God to make happen. Let those stories sink in. So much of what goes right in our lives happens because of the actions of another. Rethink the story of your life through these blessings, and gratitude will shape your life towards sustained happiness and spiritual health.

Additional Resources

• Sacred Days of Thanksgiving: Spiritual Rhythms
• Gifts for the Soul: Gratitude as a Spiritual Practice
• Expressing Gratitude through Everyday Prayers of Thanksgiving
• Walking with Wonder: Feeling Gratitude in Nature and Pilgrimage
• The Gift of Giving: Cultivating Grateful Community through Charity and Service

References

1. Fox, G. R., Kaplan, J., Damasio, H., & Damasio, A. (2015). Neural correlates of gratitude. Frontiers in Psychology, 6(1). https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01491
2. Fredrickson, B. L. (2013). Positive emotions broaden and build. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 1–53. https://doi.org/10.1016/b978-0-12-407236-7.00001-2
3. Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389. https://doi.org/10.1037//0022-3514.84.2.377 
4. Seligman, M. E., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410–421. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066x.60.5.410 
5. Diniz, G., Korkes, L., Tristão, L. S., Pelegrini, R., Bellodi, P. L., & Bernardo, W. M. (2023). The effects of gratitude interventions: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Einstein (São Paulo), 21. https://doi.org/10.31744/einstein_journal/2023rw0371
6. Carr, A., Finneran, L., Boyd, C., Shirey, C., Canning, C., Stafford, O., Lyons, J., Cullen, K., Prendergast, C., Corbett, C., Drumm, C., & Burke, T. (2023). The evidence-base for positive psychology interventions: A mega-analysis of meta-analyses. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 19(2), 191–205. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2023.2168564 
7. Heintzelman, S. J., Kushlev, K., & Diener, E. (2023). Personalizing a positive psychology intervention improves well‐being. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 15(4), 1271–1292. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12436