There are certain seasons when we feel especially motivated to improve our lives. The turning of a year is one of these times, when many of us take to the custom of setting New Year’s resolutions and goals. We usually base them on achievement or modifying a behavior, such as exercising more, eating healthier foods, or career-related milestones. But much less often are goals centered around developing our character—our virtues—and who we are becoming as a person overall. In Christianity, this process of becoming is called sanctification, the lifetime pursuit of becoming more like Christ.
Setting goals reflects the fact that we want to grow and become the best version of ourselves so that we can show up for our own lives and for those around us (which is fantastic!), but behavior-focused goals alone aren’t enough for deep soul change. However, when we anchor our goals to their core value, enacting change comes more organically, with greater clarity, purpose, and intrinsic motivation. For example, we may feel more internal drive to wake an hour earlier for a gym session if we connect that goal to a deeper value of a long, healthy life and act into this as the virtues of prudence (wisdom) and temperance (self-control) to pose change at the most basic level of who we want to become.
What are values?
Values are our beliefs and principles that we hold sacred. These are formed by our culture, customs, families, religion and life experiences. Values are the “what” in who we are. (“This is what I believe and what is important to me.) Here are some examples of commonly held values.
- Social & Interpersonal Values:
- Kindness & Compassion: Showing care and empathy for others.
- Honesty & Integrity: Being truthful and having strong moral principles.
- Loyalty & Trustworthiness: Being faithful and dependable in relationships.
- Respect: Treating others with dignity and valuing their opinions.
- Generosity: Willingness to give time, resources, or support.
- Fairness & Justice: Believing in equal treatment and what is right.
- Personal Growth & Character Values:
- Courage & Bravery: Facing challenges and fears.
- Determination & Persistence: Sticking with goals despite difficulties.
- Self-reliance: Being independent and capable of taking care of oneself.
- Accountability & Responsibility: Taking ownership of one’s actions and duties.
- Authenticity: Being true to oneself and living a consistent life.
- Life & Well-being Values:
- Happiness: A fundamental human desire for contentment and fulfillment.
- Security: The need for safety, stability, and freedom from threats.
- Health: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being.
- Family: Valuing close relationships and the home environment.
What are virtues?
Virtues are the character traits we develop over time as we live into our values. They are the “how.” (This is how I act out what I value.) According to King, et al. (2020), virtues are thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that “involve the psychological capacities that allow us to know, feel, and do what is right and good in different settings.” They act as a navigation system during difficult times, reminding us of what is important to us when life feels unclear and help us to make value-based choices instead of emotion-based choices. Living into our values habituates them into virtues, and when we practice them during smooth seasons of life, these rhythms anchor us during challenges. This strength of moral character is what contributes to a thriving life and community and to a flourishing world.
There are many traits that are considered virtues, such as integrity, generosity, and humility. The philosopher Plato identified four central virtues (later termed “cardinal virtues” by Stoic thinkers like Marcus Aurelius)—prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance—as the four pillars from which all other virtues stem.
- Prudence (Wisdom): the ability to discern what is truly good and to choose it.
- Justice: upholding fairness and what is right.
- Fortitude (Courage): endurance and bravery in the face of trials.
- Temperance: self-mastery and balance, especially over desires.
Virtues can be seen across all the major world religions and even different traditions, with many overlapping:
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- Christianity: Love, faith, hope, joy, peace, patience, humility, generosity, prudence, temperance, courage, compassion
- Islam: Justice, patience, faith, submission to God, humility, compassion, generosity, chastity
- Hinduism: Nonviolence, honesty, purity, self-control, compassion, generosity
- Buddhism: Compassion, lovingkindness, acceptance, determination, equanimity, wisdom, mindfulness
- Judaism: Justice, lovingkindness, humility, truth, peace
- Catholicism (Mary’s Virtues): Humility, faith, obedience, prayer, self-denial, charity, patience, sweetness, and wisdom
- Benjamin Franklin’s Virtues: Temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, humility
Virtues serve to direct and orient us towards what matters most in life and help us stay on track towards our purpose. They motivate us to keep going!
How does spirituality help us live out these virtues?
The Stoics believed that virtues are only attained through our own practice and efforts, without the benefit of grace from a higher power. However, most world religions agree that a divine partnership—through grace, mercy or aid from a higher power—is the way we are able to fully live out a virtuous life.
- Christianity teaches that although virtues grow through practice, God’s Spirit provides the strength to live them out.
- Islam believes that Allah grants guidance and mercy, making it possible to live virtuously.
- Hinduism teaches self-discipline and duty, yet also that divine grace is essential to liberation and to embodying virtues fully.
- Buddhism encourages self-mastery, detachment, and compassion. While effort is central, some traditions emphasize the aid of enlightened guides who support followers on their path.
- Judaism promotes justice, wisdom, and self-control, yet also affirms that God’s lovingkindness and Spirit empower people to live these virtues.
When we believe we are not alone on our journey of becoming, we can lean into our own partnership with our spiritual source for help. We can frame our existence, our purpose, and meaning through a spiritual framework, using the practices that a healthy spirituality provides as our foundation.
How do we develop virtues and set virtue-based goals?
Framing
To set virtue-based goals, we have to change the question we are asking ourselves…instead of, “What do I want to achieve this year?” we can ask, “Who do I want to become?” When we frame goals around our character, it promotes change at a deeper level and impacts not just our actions, but the thoughts and feelings that inform our actions. All three components—thoughts, feelings, and actions—must be impacted to see lasting change.
Spiritual practices like meditation can help us identify disconnection between what we value and the way we are attempting to live out those values as virtues. In order to frame our goals around virtuosity, it is essential to understand what we value most.
Community
“The world has no free thinkers,” according to New York Times columnist Tish Harrison Warren. This is not an insult, but an observation that we do not form our beliefs and behaviors in a vacuum. We are tied together, growing together through our shared interactions and experiences. When we are part of a loving spiritual community, we have a place to observe in others the virtues we want to see in ourselves. Over time, we are able to absorb and live into these cultural norms and values and develop the virtuous behavior that reflects them. As author and newspaper columnist David Brooks observes, “We learn most virtues the way we learn crafts, through the repetition of many small habits and practices, all within a coherent moral culture—a community of common values, whose members aspire to earn one another’s respect.”
Feeling at home in a vibrant, loving spiritual community promotes value alignment and virtue development.
Expectations
When we frame life as a journey of cultivating virtue—supported by grace, community, and practice—we may not reach every goal quickly. This sounds like a negative, but when goals are reframed around who we are as people and our partnership with a divine grace, instead of a specific expectation of what we should be able to accomplish, we can be set free from the stress of burdensome timelines and relax into life, knowing that what is being formed in us is immensely more valuable than a checking a box off a list.
Our lives are a journey best guided not by behavior goals alone, but by the measure and development of our character, our virtues—wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. Virtuous living ripples into the lives of those around us. Who we become affects how we respond to the world—which changes the world.
References
King, P. E., & Defoy, F. (2020). Joy as a virtue: The means and ends of joy. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 48(4), 308-31. https://journals-sagepub-com.fuller.idm.oclc.org/doi/10.1177/0091647120907994
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