On the Road to Forgiveness: Spiritual Practices for Healing

Take a breath and know that it’s okay.

Who hurt you? Or hurt someone you love? Maybe you can think of a betrayal that still stings. Or were you the one who did the hurting? That memory you’d rather not revisit.

We all carry moments like these. They shape our relationships, weigh on our minds, and sometimes even shape who we believe ourselves to be. Forgiveness is the word we use when we start to loosen that weight, but it’s also a word that comes with baggage. Many people hear “forgive” and think it means excusing harm or pretending nothing happened. In reality, forgiveness is much harder and much more freeing.

No wonder so many religious and spiritual traditions across time and culture have placed such a high value on forgiveness. Spiritually, it re-orients us toward greater mercy, grace, peace, and reconciliation, whether with others, with God, or within ourselves. It takes many forms; from prayers whispered in private to rituals shared in community. Across traditions, forgiveness shows up again and again as a way of realigning our hearts, repairing relationships, and renewing hope.

What Forgiveness Is

Forgiveness is often a misunderstood word. Many people associate it with excusing bad behavior, being naïve, or simply a matter of blind faith. But really, forgiveness is something deeper and more practical. We forgive not to erase the past, but to change our relationship to it so we can live more fully in the present.

Forgiveness means choosing to release resentment, anger or displeasure, whether toward someone who has hurt you or even toward yourself, without pretending the harm didn’t happen. It is both a moral and spiritual practice: one that allows us to see the wrong clearly, yet still move toward compassion, responsibility, and, when it is safe and wise, repair. (1) (2)

How Forgiveness Shapes Spiritual Health

Forgiveness touches every part of spiritual health:

• Transcendence: Forgiveness opens us up to something bigger. It allows us to feel grace, mercy, love, and connection to the sacred. It also allows us to realize that we don’t see the whole picture of human experience, which makes space for humility and compassion.
• Habits & Rhythms: Forgiveness is a mindset we must practice regularly. Whenever we are wronged or have wronged others, big or small, it puts us in rhythm with peacefulness.
• Relationships & Community: Forgiveness helps foster trust and repair broken bonds. It can strengthen relationships, especially during hard times.
• Identity & Narrative: Forgiveness is part of the story we tell ourselves and others. Making forgiveness central to who we are helps us write a story of healing and hope.
• Vocation & Purpose: Forgiveness frees our energy to pursue meaningful goals in life. By releasing bitterness, we are better able to live out our purpose with honor. 
• Ethics & Virtue: Forgiveness builds character through commitment to internal peace and interpersonal harmony. It supports other virtues, like patience, humility, and compassion, that help us live with integrity and care. As a virtue, forgiveness aligns our character towards transcendence by cultivating love, awareness, and unity/harmony.

Benefits (What the Evidence Shows)

Forgiveness promotes our mental, physical, and spiritual health. (3) (4) It helps us cope with the pain of wrongdoing in healthier ways and opens us up to more positive experiences.

• It strengthens relationships by building empathy, trust, and closeness.
• It lowers stress, anger, anxiety, and depression, bringing greater peace of mind.
• It deepens spiritual health by fostering gratitude, connection to the sacred, and a sense of renewal.

In short, practicing forgiveness can allow us to let go of what weighs us down and move toward a healthier, more hopeful way of living.

Forgiveness Across Faiths

Forgiveness has deep roots in nearly every major religious tradition. (1) (2) (5) While each faith has its own language and rituals, they share a vision of forgiveness that regards the practice as both a gift and a pathway to spiritual health. To fully appreciate forgiveness from a religious and spiritual perspective, we can look at how it takes shape across traditions:

• Christianity: Forgiveness is at the heart of Jesus’s teaching. Believers are called to forgive as they have been forgiven by God. This is often practiced through prayer, confession, and relationship work.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. — Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

• Judaism: Forgiveness (selicha, mechilah, and kapparah) is emphasized during the High Holy Days, especially Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement). Repairing relationships with others is considered essential before reconciliation with God.

For transgressions between a person and God, Yom Kippur atones; but for transgressions between one person and another, Yom Kippur does not atone until they appease their fellow. — Mishnah Yoma 8:9

• Islam: The Qur’an often names God “Al-Ghaffar” (The Forgiving), aligning forgiveness as a highly-regarded transcendent quality. Many Muslims practice istighfar (“seeking forgiveness”) in prayer and are urged to extend forgiveness to others as a sign of mercy.

The servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace. — Qur’an 25:63

• Buddhism: Forgiveness is understood as releasing anger and cultivating compassion. Practices such as metta (loving-kindness) help loosen resentment and bring peace.

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. 

— Dhammapada 5

• Hinduism: Forgiveness (kshama) is praised as a central virtue of righteous living. Scriptures describe it as essential for harmony in life and community.

Forgiveness is virtue; forgiveness is sacrifice; forgiveness is the Vedas; forgiveness is the Shruti. He who knows forgiveness is exalted in this world and the next.

 — Mahabharata, Book 3, Section 29

• Indigenous Traditions: Forgiveness is often seen as a key practice for restoring personal balance and community harmony. Practices like reconciliation circles and storytelling help repair relationships and reweave community bonds.

When you heal the person, you heal the family. When you heal the family, you heal the community. — Indigenous teaching on restorative healing.

Across all of these traditions, forgiveness is not about forgetting or excusing harm. It is about release, reconciliation, and renewal. Forgiveness is a practice that requires courage, but has the power to restore peace within ourselves, with others, and with the sacred.

Spiritual Practices for Forgiveness

People of faith and spirituality have long understood forgiveness not just as a belief, but as a practice. As a consequence, religious and spiritual individuals tend to practice more forgiveness. (2) (6) Across traditions, there are many practices that help individuals release resentment and move toward renewal. Forgiveness takes different shapes depending on the relationship at stake, whether it is with yourself, with another person, or even with God and the order of the world.

• Forgiving Yourself: Facing your mistakes honestly and choosing forgiveness so you can grow and move forward.
• Forgiving Others:  Choosing forgiveness toward someone who hurt you to rebuild inner peace and, potentially, restore connections.
• Forgiving God: Offering forgiveness to the ultimate in moments of disappointment or suffering, thereby creating space for renewed trust and deeper faith.
• Seeking Forgiveness: Learning to apologize with honesty and humility to repair relationships and restore spiritual health.

Practicing forgiveness is never simple. It asks us to face real hurts and struggles with honesty and courage. Yet across traditions and in our own lives, forgiveness is always a path toward peace. These practices of forgiveness give us the strength to release what weighs us down and the clarity to live with greater hope, compassion, and integrity. They don’t erase the past, but they open the possibility of healing in the present and growth for the future. (3) (4) (7) (8) (9)

For more reading, see:

• Forgiveness: What it Means (and What it Doesn’t) – Thrive Center
• The Science of Forgiveness: How Letting Go Heals You | Psychology Today
• The Path to Forgiveness: Six Practical Sections for Becoming a More Forgiving Person
• Your Path to REACH Forgiveness: Become a More Forgiving Person in Less Than Two Hours

References

1. McCullough, M. E., Pargament, K. I., & Thoresen, C. E. (Eds.). (2000). Forgiveness: Theory, research, and practice. Guilford Press.
2. Pettigrove, G., & Enright, R. (Eds.). (2023). The Routledge handbook of the philosophy and psychology of forgiveness (1st ed.). Routledge. https://doi-org.ccl.idm.oclc.org/10.4324/9781003360278
3. Toussaint, L. L., Worthington, E. L., & Williams, D. R. (2015). Forgiveness and health: Scientific evidence and theories relating forgiveness to better health. Springer.
4. Worthington, E. L., & van Zyl, L. E. (2021). The future of evidence-based temperance interventions. Frontiers in Psychology, 12(1). https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.707598
5. Heim, S. M. (2022). Monotheism and forgiveness. Cambridge University Press.
6. Nasser, I., & Cheema, J. (2021). Religiosity as a mediator of forgiveness among educators and parents in seven Muslim communities. Journal of Beliefs & Values, 43(2), 186–206. https://doi.org/10.1080/13617672.2021.1930930
7. Wade, N. G., Hoyt, W. T., Kidwell, J. E., & Worthington, E. L. (2014). Efficacy of psychotherapeutic interventions to promote forgiveness: A meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 82(1), 154–170. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035268
8. Vismaya, A., Gopi, A., Romate, J., & Rajkumar, E. (2024). Psychological interventions to promote self-forgiveness: A systematic review. BMC Psychology, 12(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-024-01671-3
9. Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2006). The path to forgiveness: Six practical sections for becoming a more forgiving person: Self-directed learning workbook: An intervention to promote forgiveness. Virginia Commonwealth University.