Hope Outside of Religion (Part 2)

This is Part 2 of a 2-part series.  To read Part 1, click here.

Environment

The environments we are consistently part of have a significant impact on our mental health, including our ability to develop healthy perspectives and feel hopeful about the future. If we feel stuck in an environment that is not a good fit for us—a job, school, relationships, living situation—we are much more likely to struggle with positive future thinking, especially if we feel we have no ability to change environments. Asking someone who is struggling to find hope about their daily environment can promote helpful conversation leading to identifying these situations and creating solutions and modifications that can promote more hope in their lives.

• What is your daily environment like? Is it a good fit for you? Does it make you happy? Peaceful? Fulfilled? Do you feel safe? Known? Accepted?
• If your environment is negatively impacting your life and ability to have hope, is it possible for you to change environments?
• If this is not currently possible, what agency—the ability to do something to make things better—do you have in your situation to improve it? 
• Are there any modifications, even small, that can be made to increase your quality of life and feelings of hope in your current environment?  

Inner Narrator and Ruminating Thoughts

We have heard it said that our thoughts create our reality. Practically speaking, if our thought life mainly revolves around gloom-ridden ruminations, we are going to have a very hard time accessing thoughts of hope. Our environment can often contribute to our ruminations. Being in environments that are a good fit and having people around us who love us as our authentic selves play significant roles in our lives. But neither our environments nor the people around us are perfectly suited to give us unrestricted access to feelings of hope. Only we have the agency to control and direct our thoughts about our situations and to fulfill our individual purposes. Asking questions to those who are searching for hope can help them discover thought patterns that may be blocking their path towards brighter thoughts.

• What thoughts do you often find yourself ruminating on? What kind of voice is telling you these stories? Kind? Critical?
• What values do you believe these stories represent?
• Are they things that are out of your control? Are there certain ones you have agency over?
• Can you identify sources of these ruminations? People? Media? Experiences?
• How can you rewrite or modify one or more of these stories in a positive way? Associating them with the value they represent is one way to rewrite a story to have more meaning.

A Humble and Loving Attitude

Christians obviously ascribe to a certain set of beliefs and values. For many Christians, we can sometimes come across as though we know it all or if someone is feeling hopeless, that we don’t have the right “type” of hope to offer them. When trying to help someone who no longer believes in the Christian faith (or God) to develop beliefs that provide a source of hope, it’s a good idea to approach their questions and semi-worked out beliefs with humility and non-defensiveness. We can do this through active listening and by using some of these existential and practical questions to help them process their thoughts. 

Hope is always available, but not always accessible. When people we know and love walk away from religion, we can still help them develop a belief system that offers sources of hope, strength, and meaning. As we do so, we are living out love.