What Does Thriving Mean?

What is the definition of thriving?

There are many ways that people use the word thriving, but the following definition aligns with psychological research and theology.

Thriving is developing the fullness of our strengths with and for others toward our telos—the purposes for which we have been created.  – Pam King

What does thriving mean?

To thrive is to grow into the fullness of your life. This means thriving involves becoming you. One of the most interesting things about development is that we grow into our uniqueness through ever deepening relationships with others. We thrive the more we grow with and for others and for a greater purpose. We thrive in the context of love–when we are loved and when we love others. One way to understand thriving is growing toward telos (our ultimate purpose), and that telos is more of a reciprocating self, a self in relationship, rather than an individual, independent self.

The word “thrive” has become so common in our culture that it can sometimes feel diluted in meaning. But it has become widespread for a reason—we all long to grow and feel fully alive. There is an intuition around the word that involves good growth and a kind of fullness that comes from bringing the various aspects of our lives into deeper alignment, and we are in search of the path that will get us there.

As a way forward, perhaps thriving is best considered as a practice of growing whole. In order to thrive, we need to cultivate resilience  which gives us the ability to adapt and bounce back in the face of adversity. But thriving involves more than bouncing back. Thriving people grow into their unique constellations of strengths, learning about who they are for their own good and for the good of others. The path to thriving is as varied and complex as our humanity—there is no simple formula for living our fullest lives. Instead, the journey to thriving involves many interconnected facets connected to our spirituality.

What does spirituality have to do with thriving?

Psychological research has shown us that healthy spirituality supports a thriving life, helping people become more resilient, providing belief systems for making meaning and offering perspective on life’s ups and downs, and at its best, healthy spirituality should support the development of deep, mutual, reciprocal relationships. Research identifies crucial aspects of human development supported by healthy spirituality including, a loving connection with God (or the transcendent) and others, daily practices that bolster wellbeing and connections, and beliefs and narratives that support meaning and hope beyond ourselves. Healthy spirituality allows us to become agile and adaptive in all of life’s circumstances.

Thriving involves spirituality, and spirituality encompasses more than beliefs—it encompasses our relationships, daily habits, and our identity. 

Spirituality is most readily associated with faith in God or a source of benevolent love and traditional faith practices, but healthy spirituality that leads to thriving is holistic and multidimensional. It involves our beliefs, our feelings, our behaviors, and our relationships. Beyond our beliefs in God, developing daily practices to develop healthy spirituality, fostering a healthy sense-of-self or identity, loving relationships, a moral compass, and a bigger purpose are all essential. Developing as a whole person in these aspects, with and for others, is how we come to thrive as our best selves. When we think of a telos–an ultimate purpose–for our lives, there is an underlying belief that we are part of a bigger story and that we each have a unique role to play. Our lives matter, and how we live them matters. Living in alignment with our spiritual and moral beliefs and in authenticity to who we are is central to thriving.

Thriving for Christians is becoming like Christ in our own unique way.

While Jesus is the example for Christians, and Christians are called to become more like Christ (Romans 8:29), each person is a unique reflection of the image of God with a corresponding unique way to live out love in the world. This idea of living out love is both universal and unique to the individual. If faith meant behavioral conformity, how could God’s endless attributes be expressed in our world? True thriving is when we are able to grow into our unique selves, giving others freedom to do the same, using our individuality to partner together for a collective purpose of living out love in the world.

Five Signs of a Thriving Life

1. Thriving people experience deep, abiding joy.

We naturally want to fill our lives with as many people, circumstances, and events that make us feel happy. However good it may be, happiness is a momentary, fleeting emotion, and needs to be undergirded by deep, abiding joy. Happiness brings good feelings during the good times, where joy, which is deeply tied to what matters most, is able to rise to the surface even in the midst of suffering and tragic circumstances. We may experience joy as an elevated and even almost ecstatic emotion that causes us to jump for joy, or joy may be more serene and kindred to peace. Regardless, joy is tied to meaning and connection, empowering us to understand and pursue what matters to us to support our thriving.

2. Thriving people are relational people.

Thriving happens relationally, not individually—we thrive with others, and we thrive for others. Although we are individuals, we are relational beings who are designed to grow and develop with others. We are formed into who we are through our relationships. Thriving involves growing in mutual interdependence as reciprocating selves. Growing into ourselves and giving back to our community and the world is an essential part of thriving. From a Christian perspective we are created in the image of God, and we mirror the relational nature of the Trinity.

Our connection to others is at the heart of thriving. We may live in an individualistic society, but positive, beneficial growth and thriving happen in the context of relationships. Our culture has come to place high value on the accomplishments of the individual, focusing less on the value of community, but growth that produces thriving is a relational endeavor.

3. Thriving people have a growing sense of self. 

Through relationships and exploration we gain a clarifying sense of our personal identity–what is unique and most important to us and who we belong to. A healthy sense-of-self that affirms that we are loved by God and others is essential to a thriving life. Part of the work of thriving is being aware of the story we tell ourselves about who we are, whose we are, and what we stand for.

4. Thriving people live with meaning and out of their values. 

Thriving goes beyond performance and success. Striving for goals that are not informed by our values, sense of morality, and attached to a meaning  beyond ourselves can lead to burnout, among other mental, physical, and relational strains. When the motivation for our work and efforts connects us to something that aligns with our strengths and values and impacts a greater good, this purpose and meaning produces a joy and resiliency that leads us toward thriving. 

4. Thriving people grow through the ups and downs and at a sustainable pace.

While thriving involves growth and development throughout our lives, there are seasons of vigorous growth, times when growth may not be so apparent, and also seasons of loss. Much of our growth journey is simply about intentionality over time. Thriving involves the hard work of staying connected to oneself, others, one’s values and purpose. Growing through our vulnerabilities and making sense of suffering are an important part of a thriving journey. Our pursuit of personal development should be at a sustainable pace and intensity. 

5. Thriving people grow and change over a lifetime as they pursue purpose.

Thriving does not have a finish line—thriving is a lifetime process of transformation. To think of thriving as having an end point can actually lead to disappointment and undercut our resilience. Rather than focusing on a destination, thriving involves growing toward our ever-evolving sense of purpose. Believing we are supposed to arrive at a place of complete balance, joy, and perpetual agility would produce discouragement rather than health. Accepting that life is complicated and full of surprises and disappointments isn’t giving up. Instead, we learn that we will constantly be navigating unpredictable variables within our evolving selves and the world around us. Adopting this perspective of transformation instead of destination can perpetuate the very resilience we need to thrive.

What can get in the way of our thriving?

We all have our unique challenges–whether they are personal or situational, but we do share some commonalities of what can inhibit our ability to thrive. While by no means an exhaustive list, these are some things that can get in the way of positive growth.

• Trauma: Trauma can change our brain, which may distort our understanding of safety and certain ways of thinking, creating emotional and mental barriers to the pillars of a thriving life. For example, someone who has had traumatic experiences involving people may be wary of others and struggle to develop meaningful relationships.

• Perfectionism: Perfectionism and other cognitive distortions can actually decrease our ability to be resilient and access joy by attaching negative consequences to anything less than our idealized standards. Being connected to a bigger purpose for our lives can release us from the burden of perfectionism. When our actions are attached to meaning, we maintain motivation to persevere amidst the imperfections and difficulties of this life.

• Culture of individualism and isolation: With our increasingly digital world, it is all too easy to become isolated from valuable relationships and daily interactions with others. Because relationships are essential to understanding who we are, isolation is detrimental to individuals as well as to a thriving society.

• Pace of life: The pursuit of our best lives can find us in a state of constant movement with little down time to rest or reflect on if our actions are actually leading us towards what matters most to us for a thriving life. Adding margin for stillness and mindfulness gives us space to align our values and our actions.

• Lack of fit within environment: Sometimes we can find ourselves in job environments, relationships, or communities that do not fully support our needs. During these times, we can explore ways to improve our fit within our current environment, or consider our options for how we can transition to an environment that is better suited for us.

• Neurodiversity: The diversity of the human brain is astounding. Too often, the world caters to certain types of brains that were deemed normal, which can lead people who fall outside these generalities to feel marginalized. Existing social structures do not offer the necessary opportunities to nurture diverse minds and end up increasing barriers to resources for positive growth and thriving.

A thriving world needs spiritually healthy humans who can ultimately lean into love and live out love. We invite you to join us on this journey to pursue thriving—with and for others.