Healthy Spirituality – The Focus is Love: The Role of Leaders

This is Part 2 of a 2-part series.  Click here to read Part 1.

You have heard it said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven… – Matthew 5: 43-45

The Role of Leaders

Brene Brown says in her book, Dare to Lead , that “…self-awareness and self-love matter.  Who we are is how we lead.” Leaders develop people and help identify their potential and the possibility for people’s lives, but leaders must develop their own potential and possibility and a vision around love and justice for our world.   

Evidence from history attests to the power of love and forgiveness. Would the non-violent protests of the civil rights movement in the US have had staying power without the power of love? People were willing to endure beatings and insults without aggression, and they fought back using passive resistance. They offered the other cheek, and they suffered with dignity. Without the power of thoughtful leadership and their beliefs, the civil rights movement would have devolved into race riots. Instead, the protests resulted in the Civil Rights Act of 1964. This example points to how a love based spirituality can be practiced, but practicing this kind of visionary love usually requires leadership and a deep conviction about the transformative power of love. 

It might feel naive to talk about love and spirituality in the same sentence these days, given how religious leaders in 21st century America often use their power of persuasion toward non-inclusive and detrimental ends. Some religious leaders emphasize dogma over compassion, and tribe-like behavior is showing up in many religious circles. Big polarizing issues make it hard for people to talk to each other, let alone love each other.  A religion and spirituality that lacks love can stoke the fires of discord, and without forgiveness, hurt people hurt people.  

Healthy spirituality requires a boots on the ground rebuilding of loving, supportive communities. Simply becoming “spiritually aware,” as offered in popular culture, will not address the anger and disconnection facing young people. These problems require activism, and a spirituality that engages a deep capacity for love, as well as the development of spiritual practices to grow the psychological capacities to love. Spiritual traditions need to identify virtues such as forgiveness, compassion, courage, and patience – and develop those within their communities –  in order to sustain a long term vision for a flourishing world.  

Building more love

The current rhetoric around the need for spirituality in America emphasizes its power to fight anxiety and other forms of mental illness. Generation Z’s are increasingly focused on individual spirituality that includes seeking the transcendent through nature or meditation practices. Too often this unmoored spirituality focuses on an individual sense of “awareness” or “connection,” but it doesn’t ground these experiences in love or recognize the importance of how we respond to our understanding of love by caring for others. A whole generation appears ungrounded in their lives and their vision for a better world generally doesn’t offer the communal support necessary to sustain action.   

According to a recent article published by the John Templeton Foundation, Without Love We Perish, love is essential for human beings. People thrive when they experience love and when they can live out love as themselves, using their strengths and abilities to help others. But living out love is a practice that requires self-awareness and emotion regulation, the ability to take the perspective of others, and the ability to live day by day in a manner that reflects our deepest held beliefs and values. 

Spirituality that focuses on a loving source can change how we see our lives and our purposes. Spirituality, at its best, connects us to each other and provides us with meaning and guidance for our lives. Spirituality should motivate a cooperative way of living, encourage positivity, and emphasize compassion for others and ourselves. Healthy spirituality helps us transcend ourselves and become other-focused. When we experience ourselves as loved on a sacred level, we are motivated to share that love in actionable ways. This self-transcendence is necessary to address the problems of our world and points to the power of love. 

The Thrive Center’s model of Spiritual Health shines a light on the facets of our spirituality that we can engage to help us practice love. If we want a better world, we have to not only love those that are easy to love, but also love our enemies. This is the work of spiritual life. We aim to support a spirituality where the focus is love.

Love isn’t just a feeling.  It’s something that we practice and offer and seek.  It’s actionable.  A new mother might feel fierce love for her baby, but it’s the getting up in the middle of the night, night after night, that is the loving act. It’s how her child will come to know that she loves them.  Love is necessary for the survival and thriving of our species. We need it to become central in our spiritual practices.  Prayer and worship and the reading of sacred texts are all important supports for love, but a critical spiritual practice that leaders can cultivate is to look up and see others with an intention to love.  

If you and your communities want to develop capacities for love, try some of these practices.

https://thethrivecenter.org/overcoming-the-sunday-scaries-part-2/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-digging-deep-to-forgive/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-small-acts-of-love-an-invitation-to-create-and-explore/

https://thethrivecenter.org/questions-for-communities/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-centering-prayer-of-awareness/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-how-to-build-bonds-with-others/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-questioning-beliefs-to-find-meaning/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-reflecting-on-love-and-goodness-towards-others/

https://thethrivecenter.org/whos-at-your-table-a-practice/

https://thethrivecenter.org/accessing-the-transcendent-how-might-we-practice-something-that-seems-so-existential/