Healthy Spirituality – The Focus is Love: The Role of Leaders

This is Part 2 of a 2-part series.  Click here to read Part 1.

You have heard it said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven… – Matthew 5: 43-45

The Role of Leaders

Brene Brown says in her book, Dare to Lead , that “…self-awareness and self-love matter.  Who we are is how we lead.” Leaders help their followers identify potentials and possibilities for their lives, but leaders must develop their own sense of being beloved while they dream of the potentials and possibilities for love and justice for our world.   

Evidence from history attests to the power of love and forgiveness. Would the non-violent protests of the civil rights movement in the US have had staying power without the power of love? People were willing to endure beatings and insults without aggression, and they fought back using passive resistance. They offered the other cheek, and they suffered with dignity. Without the power of thoughtful leaders and the strength of their core beliefs, the civil rights movement would have devolved into race riots. Instead, the protests resulted in the Civil Rights Act of 1964. This example points to how a love based spirituality can be practiced by spiritually healthy people with deep convictions about the transformative power of love. 

It might feel naive to talk about love and spirituality in the same sentence these days, given how religious leaders in 21st century America often use their power of persuasion toward non-inclusive and detrimental ends. Some religious leaders emphasize dogma over compassion, and tribe-like behavior is showing up in many religious circles. Big polarizing issues make it hard for people to talk to one another, let alone love each other. A religion and spirituality that lacks love can stoke the fires of discord, and without forgiveness, hurt people hurt people.  

In order to make a difference, leaders will need to rebuild loving, supportive communities. Popular culture points to “spiritual awareness” as a solution for the cultural divides and mental health issues facing young people, but awareness alone will not address injustices nor will it address the problem of disconnection. Increasingly we observe Generation Z’s focusing on individual spirituality that includes seeking the transcendent through nature or meditation practices,  but too often these practices aren’t grounded in love nor do they recognize the importance of how we respond to love by caring for others. Any sustainable vision for for change must include communal support  for the visionary and for community members. A spirituality that engages a deep capacity for love, as well as the development of spiritual practices to grow the psychological capacities to love should be central to the development of supportive communities.  Identifying virtues such as forgiveness, compassion, courage, and patience – and developing those within communities – will help sustain a long term vision for a flourishing world.  Building supportive, loving communities should be the focus for spiritual leaders. 

Building more love

According to a recent article published by the John Templeton Foundation, Without Love We Perish, love is essential for human beings. People thrive when they experience love and when they can live out love as themselves, using their strengths and abilities to help others. But living out love is a practice that requires self-awareness and emotion regulation, the ability to take the perspective of others, and the ability to live day-by-day in a manner that reflects our deepest held beliefs and values. 

If spirituality focuses on a loving source it can change how we see our lives and our purposes. An understanding of spirituality within community connects us to each other and provides us with meaning and guidance for our lives. Spirituality should motivate a cooperative way of living, encourage positivity, and emphasize compassion for others and ourselves. Healthy spirituality helps us transcend ourselves and become other-focused. When we experience ourselves as loved on a sacred level, we are motivated to share that love in actionable ways. This self-transcendence is necessary to address the problems of our world and points to the power of love. 

The Thrive Center’s model of Spiritual Health shines a light on the facets of our spirituality that we can engage to help us practice love. If we want a better world, we have to love those who are easy to love and also love our enemies. This is the work of spiritual life. Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s something that we practice and offer and seek. If must become central in our spiritual practices.  Leaders should reflect on themselves as beloved and cultivate their capacities and strengths around love with the intention to vision and grow loving communities.  The world needs this kind of visionary love. 

If you and your communities want to develop capacities for love, try some of these practices.

https://thethrivecenter.org/overcoming-the-sunday-scaries-part-2/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-digging-deep-to-forgive/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-small-acts-of-love-an-invitation-to-create-and-explore/

https://thethrivecenter.org/questions-for-communities/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-centering-prayer-of-awareness/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-how-to-build-bonds-with-others/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-questioning-beliefs-to-find-meaning/

https://thethrivecenter.org/a-practice-reflecting-on-love-and-goodness-towards-others/

https://thethrivecenter.org/whos-at-your-table-a-practice/

https://thethrivecenter.org/accessing-the-transcendent-how-might-we-practice-something-that-seems-so-existential/